how i wish this weekend was exactly like last week's. my weekend last week was more of myself being carefree, oblivious of what might come. i caught pretty fireworks in awe and in intent admiration. and i got addicted to the rapid thumping of my heartbeat as the sound of electric guitars and drums knocked against my chest. i reached home close to midnight. but heck. i had fun. maybe aishah was right when she said, let's make this weekend the last time we're going out for the purpose of fun. i'm gonna have to start intensive revision. i want so much to be like mr zulkefley, smiling away after taking his oral examination. i want to experience that elation and sense of accomplishment of mine after taking my examinations. it will happen if i set my priorities right now.

i think mental therapy works. i had this painful sensation in my stomach yesterday. oh well. it had been going on ever since yesterday afternoon all the way till night. so i decided to utter some words of inspiration to myself under my breath. and it worked despite not succumbing the pain for a long time. it works in the opposite way too. if humans keep complaining and complaining, then i guess the thing they complain about will worsen. because my stomachache did worsen when i had complained how sucky it felt. and then i remembered this point in time during my childhood when i was utterly sick. i was always vomiting. and one thing i have always hated, the vomits exiting via my nostrils. and then i had to smell the pungent smell of vomit. it sucks big time. i guess i was always vomiting because every night i had never failed to worry about vomiting again the next day, and the next and the next. i thought about it everyday that it was close to wishing that it would happen. and it did. so the point here is, just don't think too much. yet i still do.

sometimes i wish i'm a kid. the worries of a child and the worries of a grown-up up are indeed different. they don't give a hoot if your friend doesn't talk to you. they won't even have thoughts upon hearing someone said "you look ugly". or maybe in the worst situation, feelings might occur but the feelings won't be permanent and long-lasting. the thing about children is that they're so carefree and they have surprisingly lots of energy. they don't think to the degree that grown-ups do. thinking leads to complication and contradiction. maybe that's why they're so carefree. and we're not.

Dear Syiqin,

how are you? do you know that i miss you so much? i wanna slap your butt like i always do. i wanna laugh at ducks and penguins with you. do you know that i impersonate a duck's mouth every now and then? =) i wanna go orchard with you and get lost all over again. i wanna watch harry potter with you and chant that whatever-spell-potter-said with might. i wanna dream with you about our unrealistic love stories. i wanna rant to you about my stressful life. about "nerdy-boy", forget about him. some guys are always giving girls false signals. ugh! and we both will sing happy songs together. so what if we're singles? haha! eh, i got monkey pencil box already. haha. you know what? let's watch charlie and the chocolate factory together. if time allows me to. and by the way, i hope your attachment is fine. enjoy what you're doing alright! it's been a busy year for both of us so i hope you're doing OK. the puzzle you sent me, i can't open it. BUT! don't worry. i'll find a way to see the puzzle, maybe in the school library or something. i'll find a way. haha. you know Sakinah right? she always finds a way. haha! but, she's crazy lah in school. she needs you. buahaha!

signing off,
your bestfriend.