yea i'm still awake.

there's just a few things(actually alot) on my head that are going in circles and never settling down.

i'm sorta worried for myself. today's incident reflected a great deal of who i am. and now it's on the verge of making its huge impact on me. regardless of today's incident or anything. am i really someone who doesn't grab opportunities? even if they are being laid down before me, waiting for my hands to grasp them like they will go away any moment. but i won't react like most people will. i'll just watch the opportunities pass me by and they'll come to make me think of second thoughts. i hate second thoughts. you know, second thoughts just.. oh well anyhow, i begin to think that if i let chances slip by just like that, i'll be one miserable girl at the end of the road. i had always hated the "i told you so" voices at the back on my head. so what happens if i really like this guy and i actually had the opportunity to express how i feel but i decided not to? i know this sounds so real but it's just an example. so this is bad right?

gees. i'm scaring myself.

and the other part that bugs me is how secretive i can be. sometimes i just don't tell things. maybe when you look at me, you ought to think that "oh she tells everything". sorry but you're wrong.

guess that's all i can say. see, i guess whatever i typed up there is not even 1/2 of what i'm thinking.




i shall stop worrying now.








but i just can't.