it's the same routine everyday. dragged myself to school, scribbling away deep words onto my foolscap cover during lessons, took the lonely, bumpy bus ride home and as i was walking to my block, the stench of manure always hit me. i hate going to school now. it's holidays. i need a darn rest. everyday feels like a normal school day except that it's lonelier than usual. it's true. school ain't complete without everyone in it.

almost everyone in the class had the "heart-jumping out" effect while doing the a.maths test just now. the sudden lightning totally freak me out.

my sister is still sick. my grandfather's discharged from hospital. i skipped training for the third time in a row. homework's been piling up and i took no notice of them all. tests are coming. more homework. hari raya preparation. lailatul qadr. homework. training. school. worries. did i mention homework?

i'm not content with everything right now. not a single day i can be carefree and happy. i'm carrying too much weight at this moment. it's so difficult for me to open up. it's like as if people care. they bound to have excuses here and there or they have something more important to focus on. guess i finally realise i'm always positioned last. i despise biasness. i despise favouritism. i despise everything. i hate to be treated unequally.

gotta go. still feeling as sucky as ever
sakinah